Guest Opinion: With thanks to ‘Bachelor Father’ Bill Jones

Thanksgiving, 2025. Now is the time, more than ever, to give thanks for all we have and to work to preserve all we value and love. It’s also the time to express gratitude for those we honor, including quiet heroes who show us the way.

Meet Bill W. Jones, a 97-year-old gay activist and the first single man to legally adopt a child in America. On February 13, 1969, after an 18-month struggle, Jones signed papers adopting Aaron Hunter Jones in San Francisco. In a judge’s chambers packed with friends, Jones signed the document that changed his life and LGBTQ history, opening the doors for single-parent adoption, then same-sex parent adoption in America. Approximately 28% of adoptions in the United States are single-parent adoptions, according to the National Council for Adoption. In the U.S., 35,000 same-sex couples have adopted, and 6,000 are fostering, per the Williams Institute, an LGBTQ think tank housed at UCLA School of Law.

Jones has always been an activist and today he’s vigorously campaigning and rallying at pro-Democracy events. You can see him out in Marin County, where he now resides, with his signs. For decades, Jones has protested against injustice in LGBTQ+ matters; anti-war campaigns, particularly Vietnam, and pro-choice issues. He has been arrested for the causes he believes in. He has also participated joyfully as an officiant in marrying approximately 500 couples at San Francisco City Hall in 2004 and 2008.

In the 1960s, because of the hostile, anti-homosexual environment, Jones hid that he was gay. A single man wanting to adopt was bad enough. Aided by three courageous supporters, Dorothy Murphy, head of the San Francisco Social Services Adoption Agency; Mary Davidson, a social worker; and attorney Evander Smith, Jones survived suspicion and opposition to achieve his dream and change the lives of many adopting parents and children. For years, he kept his homosexuality secret, fearful he would lose Aaron if the truth were told.

Why adopt a child? During his own childhood, Jones suffered abandonment and loss. His parents divorced when he was 2, leaving him with neighbors. Grandparents took him in next, then a hateful aunt, eventually returning him to his mother and her new husband. When Jones was 11, he joyfully welcomed a baby brother, whom he parented while his mother and stepfather worked in their restaurant/bar. He also loved his younger step-brother and step-sister, but they came and went at his mother’s whim. Longing for a stable family, Jones resolved to have a family of his own someday.

At 37, just as he despaired that his struggle to adopt or father a child was failing – even being chased out of a Cuban orphanage by outraged nuns – he spotted an adoption notice in the San Francisco Chronicle, mentioning a brochure about new, easier adoption. Ready to exchange his role as gay bachelor for that of bachelor father, Jones sent for the brochure and applied. Not without misgivings and doubts. During his initial interview with Murphy, he tried to convince her he wasn’t a suitable candidate: he didn’t have adequate income; he had to do maintenance on the building he owned, so what about a child’s safety? Fortunately, Murphy saw through his doubts, countered each, and the adoption process continued with its bumps, crises, and delays to a happy conclusion.

Aaron, almost 2, was one of 850 harder to place children who were part of Murphy’s caseload. Born addicted to heroin, Aaron was taken from his young mother and placed in foster care, where he lived in a playpen outdoors most days – information not shared with Jones until years later. When Jones met Aaron, he didn’t make eye contact, uttered incoherent sounds, and looked unclean. His head was shaved. Jones wanted a child he could send to college. Aaron wasn’t that child. Jones left disheartened, but was drawn back. Knowing Aaron was turning 2, Jones splurged on a Teddy bear at FAO Schwarz and revisited Aaron. This time, Aaron ran to greet him, babbling excitedly and hugging Jones’ legs. The rest is history.

Jones was a devoted father, raising Aaron with love, care, and the support of his wonderful village of friends. He taught Aaron to read, speak, love, and trust. Aaron, in turn, was a loving, affectionate, and beautiful child, creative and musically talented. Sadly, he was also learning disabled and was finally diagnosed as schizophrenic. With characteristic determination and courage, Jones sought the best treatment and care for his beloved son, taking extra work to pay the cost. They had almost 30 years together when Aaron died of a heroin overdose.

Jones has written “Bachelor Father,” a compelling book about life before and with Aaron that will make you laugh, weep, rage, and cheer. Asked why he wrote his story, he said, “I want the world to know you don’t have to be chaste or perfect to love and care for your child. You don’t have to be married or even a couple. You can be straight or gay, a man or a woman or something in between. Any race, any religion, any time or any place. Rich or homeless. Athlete or handicapped.

“Belonging, devotion, and caring intensely are the common denominators,” he added. “To hold your child and feel the bond, that sacred bond, is worth living for. And in my case, fighting for.”

We thank you, Bill Jones, for your fighting spirit, courage, commitment, love and generosity – and for fathering the adoption movement that continues to save and enhance lives worldwide.
 
“Bachelor Father,” published in 2022, is available on Amazon or can be ordered at your local bookstore.

Elinor Gale, a straight ally, is Bill Jones’ friend, writing colleague, and occasional editor. Author of “The Emancipation of Emily Rosenbloom,” she is working on a second novel, “Escape from Safe Harbor.”